Dear Future Baby,
I know I haven't written in a while. I've been so busy with school and work. Your mom is a big procrastinator. The semester is almost over and I can't wait. The summer semester starts soon after that and then the fall semester, then I should graduate (here's to hoping).
So, something has been on my mind lately, and as a feminist, this is really easy to see in every day life. It's male privilege. Male privilege, as per wikipedia, is "the social theory which argues that men have unearned social, economic, and political advantages or rights that are granted to them solely on the basis of their sex, and which are usually denied to women." Now this doesn't even account for all the intersectionality that goes into male privilege, or any privilege, like race, socioeconomic background, sexual orientation, and economic status. Just focusing on being male.
What got me thinking about this was a story I was told Friday, during a breakfast meeting. My coworker has a daughter, who is four, and was at work with us. This little girl is also the only girl on her t-ball team. My coworker was telling us about this boy who likes her daughter, and every time he sees her, he sits by her and tries to talk to her. Well, the little girl slides down the bench, and that little boy just follows her, invading her personal space, not getting the hint that she does not want to be bothered by him. She just wants to play t-ball. She doesn't want to talk.
Amongst all the "awwws," I had a fire in my chest. That is not cute. That boy thinking he could just invade her space is just a small example of male privilege. This little boy, not older than 5, has already been taught that since he is a boy, he has a right to her. That he has a right to invade her space. Society teaches boys that. That boys can be big and take up space, and girls have to be small and take up as little space as possible. Just look at the way men sit on the bus compared to how women sit on a bus.
While people think that boys being like this is harmless, it isn't. It is dangerous. This is how our little boys end up becoming rapists. I know that's harsh, but that is the reality. When little boys aren't taught about consent and privilege, this is the risk. When little boys don't understand that little girls aren't property, that happens.
So, consent goes both ways, and whatever you are, you will know and understand that. Privilege can't be taken away, but it can be checked. You can be aware of that privilege and use it to better the people around you. Don't laugh at that rape joke, tell them it was wrong. Don't invade others space. Don't use your privilege to put others down, rise together.
Your dad and I love you.
I know I haven't written in a while. I've been so busy with school and work. Your mom is a big procrastinator. The semester is almost over and I can't wait. The summer semester starts soon after that and then the fall semester, then I should graduate (here's to hoping).
So, something has been on my mind lately, and as a feminist, this is really easy to see in every day life. It's male privilege. Male privilege, as per wikipedia, is "the social theory which argues that men have unearned social, economic, and political advantages or rights that are granted to them solely on the basis of their sex, and which are usually denied to women." Now this doesn't even account for all the intersectionality that goes into male privilege, or any privilege, like race, socioeconomic background, sexual orientation, and economic status. Just focusing on being male.
What got me thinking about this was a story I was told Friday, during a breakfast meeting. My coworker has a daughter, who is four, and was at work with us. This little girl is also the only girl on her t-ball team. My coworker was telling us about this boy who likes her daughter, and every time he sees her, he sits by her and tries to talk to her. Well, the little girl slides down the bench, and that little boy just follows her, invading her personal space, not getting the hint that she does not want to be bothered by him. She just wants to play t-ball. She doesn't want to talk.
Amongst all the "awwws," I had a fire in my chest. That is not cute. That boy thinking he could just invade her space is just a small example of male privilege. This little boy, not older than 5, has already been taught that since he is a boy, he has a right to her. That he has a right to invade her space. Society teaches boys that. That boys can be big and take up space, and girls have to be small and take up as little space as possible. Just look at the way men sit on the bus compared to how women sit on a bus.
While people think that boys being like this is harmless, it isn't. It is dangerous. This is how our little boys end up becoming rapists. I know that's harsh, but that is the reality. When little boys aren't taught about consent and privilege, this is the risk. When little boys don't understand that little girls aren't property, that happens.
So, consent goes both ways, and whatever you are, you will know and understand that. Privilege can't be taken away, but it can be checked. You can be aware of that privilege and use it to better the people around you. Don't laugh at that rape joke, tell them it was wrong. Don't invade others space. Don't use your privilege to put others down, rise together.
Your dad and I love you.